The Green Room
(2006) No infringement upon the rightful owners of "Combat!" and the characters thereof, is intended. Any resemblance between real people and the characters in this story is purely coincidental and no insult is intended. This piece of fan fiction is for enjoyment only, and in no way will the author gain monetary profit from its existence.
"April in the Green Room: All You Need is Love"
by White Queen
"I. Don't. Think. I. Can. Take. One. More. Step." Kirby collapsed dramatically onto the couch, leaving no room for anyone else.
"Shut up, Kirby, you hardly did anything," Littlejohn growled. "You just stood around holding your B.A.R. and asking dumb questions."
"As opposed to you, who did what again?" Kirby shot back.
"I carried this radio around all night, that's what. It may be just a mock-up, but it's still heavy." Littlejohn dropped the radio to the floor, where it landed with a thud.
"Why does White Queen always have to do these things at night?" Billy yawned. "Why can't she write during the day like everyone else?"
"Yeah," Doc agreed, "I haven't slept in about a week, it feels like."
"Come on," Saunders said, leaning against a wall and yawning himself. "Cut the kid some slack, she's only had us out for two nights."
"And whose fault would that be?" Caje asked. "We were having ourselves a nice little rest here, none of the writers were working on anything major...."
"Hey, it was Hanley's idea." Saunders pointed at a weary Hanley who was closing the door by leaning sleepily against it. "He kept begging for a sequel."
"But I didn't get it started, you did. You know, Saunders, I'll never understand it." Hanley straightened up a little, but still leaned against the door.
"I've been cajoling her for weeks, and she wouldn't work on it at all. You spend two minutes with her, and we're on active duty indefinitely."
Saunders shook his head. "You just don't know how to charm her. It takes something special to get a story from the White Queen."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"Love." Saunders smiled.
"Love?" Hanley was too tired to look more than vaguely curious.
"She loves me. If I ask her to do something, she does it. Because she loves me." Saunders glanced over at Hanley and shook his head. "If she doesn't love you, you don't stand a chance."
Kirby snorted. "Well, I could use a little less love, then. Did we have to run through the same two scenes seventy-five times? In and out of a town, stumbling around in the dark... that doesn't sound like love to me. Sounds more like torture."
"And then tonight we had to walk all the way to that old sawmill, only to have her decide not to use it," agreed Hanley.
"We wouldn't have had to walk," Saunders shot back, "if somebody hadn't used up all the gas in the jeep and forgotten to replace it."
"Hey!" Hanley protested. "I'm an officer! I shouldn't have to put gas in the jeep!"
Saunders rolled his eyes. "I'm too tired to argue. Better get some rest, boys -- she's sure to call us up again tomorrow night."