We open with a literally dirty Kraut today.  And also a manly, wood-chopping Kraut.  Aww, I'm almost feeling sorry for these Krauts.  All they have to protect them is a "concrete" wall that wiggles when they lean on it too enthusiastically.  And we have a tank AND a halftrack.  They're kind of pitiful, aren't they?


(DA!)  Oh!  But Saunders should ride around sticking out of a halftrack window All The Time!  That's the way to fight a war, folks!


Ack!  I forgot the color episodes turned the credits such a garish blue.  Not sure how I could have forgotten, since we matched our website background to the color credits, but... I did.


(DA!)  Again with dudes hanging out of the halftrack window.  This is beyond attractive.  We have got to get us one of those, permanent-like.


Oh, Saunders, no.  Please don't blow up the half track.  It's so lovely.  So useful.  Even with a busted track, couldn't you just hang out the window and shoot things?  But nooooooooo, you...


(DA!)  I lost my train of thought.  Saunders kindly neglected to button his shirt today, and we've got alluring chest hair peeking over a decidedly grungy-yet-attractive undershirt.  We need to pause and admire this before continuing the episode. 


Okay, back to the actiony stuff.  Um, ENG?  I hate to break it to you, but that log you're setting up your machine gun on?  Not really big enough to give you cover.  Like, at all.  That's not optimal.  See, how it's supposed to work is, you hide behind something taller or thicker than you are.  Your log doesn't qualify.  Please relocate before you get shot to bits.


This episode is a prime example of that "man versus machine" theme that writers like to explore so much.  It's very literal, doesn't pretend to be about anything else, and it works pretty effectively.  Not to mention, our guys are super resourceful in this ep.  Mending bridges, finding scenic spots to take rest breaks, and even lassoing horses.


But, um, about that horse... aren't we supposed to worry about mines and stuff?  Have you all forgotten that cow in "One More for the Road"?  Or do Krauts never use horses to bait mine fields, and I just didn't read that part of the field manual?


HEY!  How come the Krauts get a river crossing shot, but not our guys?  No fair!  I've been cheated! 


Basically, this whole episode is how no one and no thing can out-stubborn Saunders.  If he wants to he can move that gun through sheer force of will.  Or at least, so he believes.  I'm not doubting him, are you?


Say, where'd the horse go?


(DA!)  Um, yeah... hot and sweaty guys pushing and pulling a very heavy object.  This ep basically requires a bucket for all the drool.


What in the Sam Hill is that shirtless Kraut by the bunker doing?  Fishing for trout?  With a rope?


Why do we have all those rifles and boxes and stuff piled on the gun?  Wouldn't we want to make it lighter, not heavier?  Couldn't we carry those up the hill first, and then drag the gun up without them?


(DA!)  Kirby, honey, you can collapse on my lawn any day.  I even have nice trees to give you some shade while you rest.


(DA!)  And now they're ALL sprawling all over!!!  It's like an early birthday present!  Sprawled men, everywhere I look!


(DA!)  And Then All The Buttons Popped Off Saunders' Shirt.  Obviously, they couldn't take the strain of trying to contain all that manly hotness.


Gotta say, this bunker set is awesome.  Not one we've seen over and over.  Very business-like.  I want one.


And those fuel barrels make such satisfying explosions, don't they?  I love how some of them go flying up into the air every time.  The effects crew sure earned their keep on this ep!


I love that long tracking shot that pauses lovingly on each guy's face after they blow the gun.  Nice.


(DA!) And a nice saunter away from the camera from Saunders to finish the ep off.  And me as well -- I'm exhausted from falling onto my swooning couch so often. 


Return Home

More Scuttlebutt